Beware Countesses Bearing Work

NOW HIRING

Are you hardworking, loyal, and alone? Need a place to stay, food to eat, and something to do? I’m looking for trustworthy young women to maintain my estate.

I believe that beauty is the measure of one’s worth. I seek like-minded individuals. Those with an interest in eternal youth are preferred, as are those without family or friends.

Required skills:
– Grave digging
– Cooking
– Knowledge of anatomy
– Cleaning
– Make-up skills

Room and board provided. Must be willing to work late hours. Send your resume and blood type to madamebathory@guinness.com

Tell no one and get ready to make history!

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