Banisher, a local exorcist, entered the apartment Jamal haunted.
Jamal had gotten a fatal blood clot mere months before. He wished he had someone to get revenge against. Some goal in the afterlife. Instead he spent his time with other ghosts, watched whatever the new tenants put on TV, and played around on their phones. Pretty boring.
The worst part was that the tenants had bad taste in TV. They watched nothing but the news. Where was the fun in that? So Jamal got creative to mix things up.
“The spirit turns your radios on every morning at 5?” Banisher asked one of the two tenants.
“It won’t stop playing soft rock,” she said.
Jamal bristled at being called ‘it’. Whatever. He would fake his exorcism, have some fun, and then find somewhere else to live. The apartment wasn’t that great anyway.
“Strange,” Banisher said. “They usually prefer screamo.”
The tenants laughed politely.
“I’ll get to work.” Banisher gestured for them to leave and began to pace the room. He had no equipment with him except for an off-white candle. “Are you there, spirit?” he asked.
“I’m here… But soon you won’t be…” Jamal did his best impression of a ghost from the cartoons he had watched when he was alive. He wailed, waved his arms in front of him, and tried to make his voice sound raspy. He wished he had a flashlight to shine under his face. “Leave now, or suffer!”
Banisher closed his eyes. “Spirit, speak to me!”
“I totally am.”
“Murder!” Jamal shouted in Banisher’s ear.
Banisher shivered. “I can hear you. Leave this place! Begone!” He then returned to Latin.
Jamal was disappointed that Banisher thought that would be enough to get rid of anyone. Oh well. Might as well put on a show. Jamal turned the radios on, setting them to screamo. Banisher had the decency to look embarrassed, but continued. Jamal raised the volume higher and higher until a neighbour started pounding on the wall. Banisher’s head jerked to the sound. “Is that you?”
Jamal wondered if he had been this embarrassing before he died. “That’s Mx. O’Malley from next door. Don’t you know what someone knocking on a wall sounds like?”
Banisher chanted in Latin for another moment before screaming: “Go towards the light!” This wasn’t as fun as Jamal was hoping. It was more frustrating than anything. Sighing, he turned all of the radios off at once. Banisher nodded with self-satisfaction. “It must be at rest.”
Jamal left, shaking his head. He didn’t know where he’d go next, but he’d at least find somewhere with a half-decent exorcist to contend with. He wanted a challenge… Or to haunt people who watched better TV.